Tag: joke
member name: Infinity M.
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October 13, 2009 10:43 AM EDT --
One day a 6yr old girl was sitting in a classroom. The teacher was going to explain evolution to the children.
The teacher asked a little boy, "Tommy do you see the tree outside?"
"Yes" replied . . .
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December 25, 2008 12:17 PM EST --
I hope you are all safe and well - don't drive if you don't have to - we spun out on the highway last night - i'm not going out again until conditions are a little better! This should . . .
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February 03, 2009 08:20 AM EST --
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful.
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September 07, 2008 02:02 PM EDT --
Then the fight started
After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social
Security . The woman behind the counter asked me for
my driver's license . . .
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November 18, 2008 02:52 AM EST --
Two guys left the bar after a long night of drinking, jumped in the car
and started it up. After a couple of minutes, an old man appeared in the
passenger window and tapped lightly. . . .
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November 18, 2008 05:27 AM EST --
WOMEN'S ENGLISH:
Yes = No
No = Yes
Maybe = No
I'm sorry = You'll be sorry
We need = I want
It's your decision = The correct . . .
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November 18, 2008 08:08 AM EST --
AMNESIA: Condition that enables a woman who have gone through labor to make love again.
DUMBWAITER: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.
FAMILY PLANNING: The . . .
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November 18, 2008 09:48 AM EST --
A married man left from work early one Friday afternoon. Instead of
going home, however, he squandered the weekend (and his paycheck)
partying with the boys.
When he . . .
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December 07, 2008 10:20 PM EST --
Subject: The Photographer
Mr. Smith was unable to give Mrs. Smith any
children. They decided to use a surrogate father to start
their family. On the day the surrogate father . . .
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December 08, 2008 01:23 AM EST --
This guy lived on his own and he was feeling a bit lonely, so he
goes to the pet shop to get something to keep him company. The pet shop
owner suggested an unusual pet, a talking millipede. . . .
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December 09, 2008 01:49 AM EST --
HANGOVERS ....
* One Star Hangover
No pain. No real feeling of illness. Your sleep last night was a mere
disco nap which is giving you a whole lot of misplaced energy. Be
glad that you are . . .
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December 09, 2008 09:56 PM EST --
Explains a lot...
MEN FINALLY EXPLAINED!!
The nice men are ugly.
The handsome men are not nice.
The handsome and nice men are gay.
The handsome, nice and heterosexual men are married. . . .
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December 10, 2008 08:11 AM EST --
SCHOOL -- 1957 vs. 2007
Scenario : Jack goes quail hunting before school, pulls into school parking lot with shotgun in gun rack.
. . .
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December 10, 2008 11:12 AM EST --
Subject: Chocolate Rules
Chocolate is a vegetable and should be included in your
meals daily. How, you ask? Chocolate is derived
from cacao beans. . . .
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December 21, 2008 03:49 PM EST --
How to stop being bugged by relatives at weddings if you're single:
Blue-haired old aunts used to come up to me at weddings,
poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're . . .
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January 01, 2009 01:55 AM EST --
A Fishing Vacation
A couple goes on vacation to a fishing resort in northern Minnesota.
The husband likes to fish at the crack of dawn. The wife likes to read.
One morning the husband returns . . .
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January 14, 2009 01:58 PM EST --
Two drunks are walking down the railroad tracks when the first says to the other,
"Wow, this is the longest set of stairs i've ever seen in my entire life."
The other drunk replies, . . .
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January 14, 2009 02:10 PM EST --
What's the difference between a pigeon and an investment banker?
The pigeon can still make a deposit on a Ferrari.
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January 14, 2009 05:27 PM EST --
A guy walking along the beach finds a lantern and rubs it. A genie pops out and says,
"Thank you for releasing me. As a reward I will grant you any wish you desire."
"Great," . . .
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February 06, 2009 06:57 AM EST --
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
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